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Salvatorian Women in solidarity for Hope and Life
I was humbled at the request of Sr. Therezinha when asked to share my experiences as a Salvatorian at this significant gathering of superiors and delegates from different countries. As I stand before you I thought to myself how should I start and where should I start since my whole life is a journey of hope and trust. So I said to myself why not begin with a reflection on the two great journeys of hope from the Old Testament people. The first journey of hope was made by Abraham, the Father of faith. A journey from the known to the unknown, from the familiar to the alien. When God called Abraham he said “Go forth from your country, from your relatives, from your father’s house to the land I show you” (Gen 12:1). Abraham did not know where he was going but trusting and hoping in the promise of God he went forth. His journey was marked by hardships, trials and even failures. But he never wavered in his trust on the promise of God. God blessed him and made him a great nation. The second journey of hope was made by Israel as a nation. God said I would set you free from the bondage of slavery under Egypt and give you the Promised Land- a land flowing with honey and milk. The journey was not a pleasant one, those who journeyed had to go through innumerable hardships for forty long years, but they placed their hope in God and trusted in his word. My journey of hope is a similar one. A journey made in total trust and hope in the word of God. Before sharing my journey of hope I thought I could just start with Fr. Jordan’s life summing it up into two dimensions and Mother Mary of the Apostle’s life into two characteristics and relating it to my experiences of hope and life as a Salvatorian.
Browsing through the Spiritual Diary of Fr. Jordan I was moved to the core to read the beautiful nuances of how Fr. Jordan integrated his entire life, with God through the Scriptures and with people by becoming a source of life and hope. The first dimension is:
1. Attachment: His whole life revolved in an attachment to God. He was so attached to the love of God that even in the midst of trails and tribulations, struggles and worries, ups and downs he could confront life with hope. It was his solidarity with God that strengthened him in his mission. The life of a Christian is said to be a continuous going into the presence of God from the presence of people and a continuous coming into the presence of people from the presence of God. If Fr. Jordan was an icon of hope and life for people in this world, it was because of his solidarity with God. He came from the presence of God to people and in turn took the wants and needs of people to God’s presence. He built the basis of his life on the foundation of the scripture. He received consolation when he was troubled, support when he was feeble, and answers when he was confused. His source of strength was derived from the Word of God. It is said that the Bible is the telephone that is constantly ringing all we need to do is just pick it up and open it for God to speak to us. Fr. Jordan realized along with the psalmist that “the word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path” (Psalms 119:105).
2. Detachment: Fr. Jordan’s attachment to God and his attachment to the Word of God bring us to the second dimension of detachment. He was unconditionally attached to God that he totally detached himself from the blessings of God. This seems like a paradox is it not? The rich young man ‘s story (Mk. 10: 17-22) would help us to understand the paradox. The young person who followed Jesus was a good man; he kept the commandments of God and in turn was blessed by God with abundant blessings and riches. He asked Jesus what must I do to attain eternal life. On hearing Jesus his face fell, he was saddened and went away grieving (Mk 10:22). Why? Because Jesus said ‘give what you have’. Share the blessings God gave you with others then you will have eternal life. Fr. Jordan was a person who constantly emptied himself by giving himself totally to God and people. He was a blessing unto others a source of hope and life which is reflected in his concern for others. Looking at Jerusalem Jesus wept because they were spiritually dead, Fr. Jordan too could weep for others who lived a life not knowing the giver of life. He allowed compassion to move through his glances and his actions. He opened his heart to the unwanted, listened to and took notice of the concerns in other’s lives. Offered peace and healing to the wounded shared a love that stretched far beyond himself. He moved beyond his comfort zones and took risks.
These two dimensions I feel are the core determinants of Fr. Jordan’s source of hope and life. On the other hand two characteristics determined Mother Mary of the Apostle’s life. Two great qualities that defined an apostle are enumerated in Mk. 3: 14-15 - 1. to be with him 2. to go out from him. These were precisely the two reasons that inspired Mary of the Apostle in her life and mission, which she accomplished so gracefully. Reading her life we could draw two characteristics that made her a unique in her mission to be the source of hope and life.
1. Discipleship: On seeing the advertisement of the Apostolic Teaching Society in the magazine Der Missionar she felt a deep longing to submit her self, which is expressed in her exclamation “O! Apostolic society zealous for souls spread everywhere encompass renew the whole world Transform nations convert unbelievers lead them all teach and sanctify all” . She made a deliberate choice. A choice of total commitment in accepting the will of God to offer herself wholly to be an Apostle of Christ. Like the Blessed Virgin Mary, she time and again said, “Not my will, but let the holy will of God be done”. It was for her a journey from searching to finding; a journey from questioning to reflecting; a journey from security to insecurity; a journey from safety to abandonment; a journey from influence to service. This journey that she was determined to take was one marked with uncertainties and insecurities but a journey that would ultimately be fulfilling and satisfying. It is the journey to become an Apostle. This path to holiness, serenity, peace and joy inspired in her the hope to offer herself to God and trust in his providence and mercy. She had a strong and steadfast faith, simple and humble life style, unshakable trust in God’s providence and above all, a heart that totally submitted itself in obedience to the will of God.
2. Apostolate: Her discipleship strengthened Blessed Mary of the Apostles in the task of going out to the world to make the presence of Jesus known to every human being she came in contact with. The apostolate was the purpose of her life, the reason for her dedication and her total self-giving to Christ’s love. Her apostolate was not one that deviated from the vision of the founder but always in line with it. She never restricted her mission to a particular region, people, culture or religion but extended it to the whole universe. Though much older than Fr. Jordan yet she had the humility to always consult him before embarking into any venture. The apostolate was never an excuse for her to escape from the rules and regulations of the congregation or the daily routines of the community in which she lived. She always struck a balance between her life as a religious and her mission. It was in fulfilling her religious duties that she derived great satisfaction in her mission. These two aspects are not two separate qualities but they were beautifully intertwined and blended in one.
As Fr. Jordan’s, spiritual daughter she always found the will of God in his guidance.
Unless and until we attach ourselves to God by making scripture the foundation of our lives, we will not be able to detach ourselves from his blessings, in order to be a blessing unto others and be icons of solidarity, hope and life. My friends, if at all I have achieved anything worthwhile in my life it is because of the inspiration I derived from these two great realities. I now would like to narrate how these two have guided my journey of hope and life.
My call to a journey of hope
My dear sisters my journey as a Salvatorian was a journey of hope. When I decided to become a nun, I wanted to join a congregation who had their convent in my village. Upon approaching the superior, (a Regina Mundi student who did her studies in Rome staying in our motherhouse), and sharing with her my intention of becoming a religious, she immediately directed me to Sr. Sylvia in Villoonni. For me it was a journey to the unknown. I desired something but God revealed that he had different plans for me. He said, “Go forth to the place I show you”. Trusting and placing my hope in God’s word I joined the Salvatorian community. The journey was not bed of roses, I had to undergo difficulties, struggles, hardships and even trials in my life as a Salvatorian. But my complete trust in the Lord kept me going without turning back. A Christian is said to be one who walks towards sunrise and not sunset, we either move forward or necessarily move backward. For Christianity is dynamic and not static. If there is no progression then there is regression as St. Paul says there is no state as “lukewarm” in Christianity. So too in religious life, but that does not mean that we will be free from doubts, we will have. I had doubts, I had questions to ask I was confused and sometimes still am with the workings of God in my life, but I trust him to lead me. Never has he abandoned me, just as he blessed Abraham and made him a great nation, just as he gave Israel the promised land, so too he has blessed me by making me a part of a bigger family, where I can enjoy and share the company of so many brothers and sisters all over the world. I am happy and proud to belong to the Salvatorian family.
The Journey of hope begins
In the secular world to most people vocation simply means, what one does for a living, one’s occupation or career. This secular definition of vocation usually implies only income-producing activity. But the religious definition however is more literal and yet more complex. Vocation literally means a calling. It is what one is called to do, which may or may not coincide with one’s desires, ambitions and longings. In this sense vocation implies a relationship. For if some one is called, then naturally somebody must be doing the calling and I believe that this somebody is God. Uprooted from the familiar setting of the village and a small knit family I grew up in, I was planted in an entirely alien situation. Just as a person who is blindfolded does not know where he is going, I too felt like a blindfolded and left in the dark. Before anything could become clear, I was sent to Austria to begin my formation. The new situation, culture, people, language and what not, everything was beyond my grasp. The only thing I had was the light of hope that God will not forsake me. Completing my formation, I made my first profession. As a young sister in a community, I was frustrated with the thought that the future was bleak and hopeless. In that moment of insecurity, I saw the ray of hope in the eyes of an old nun, who held me tightly saying do not be afraid the situation is not so worse as you imagine, for you are our HOPE. I can never forget those words that encouraged me at the beginning of the journey and strengthened me to continue my journey of hope with vigor and enthusiasm. I realized that this is how a Salvatorian should bring life to spirits that are sullen, frustrated and even dead. This was what Fr. Jordan and Mother Mary of the Apostle did and expect every Salvatorian to do. This insight triggered my hope to be a “hope to the hopeless” and “life to the lifeless” (dead spiritually, emotionally and materially).
Cross the sign of hope and life
The words of Jesus, “If you wish to follow me deny yourself, take up the cross and then follow me” were rather difficult for me to comprehend. I never fully grasped this idea of the cross, because even as a young girl, I never liked the idea that Jesus should suffer and die a shameful death, at the hands of his enemies. Lenten season and Good Friday were days I disliked the most, because of the atmosphere in the churches, which took a radical change during that period. Flowers that adorned the altar disappeared, Gloria was not sung, the priest wore dark vestments, themes and reflections were about the passion and death of Christ, more fasting and penance were urged, everything seemed gloomy to me. As years rolled on as a Salvatorian, when I had to confront with struggles and pains, then I began to realize the beauty of the cross. I knew that it is the cross that can bring hope and life especially when we suffer for others. I also realized that no Christian could be separated from the cross. The cross will always be the symbol of hope and life for all who believe in him, and especially for us religious. I really experienced the burden of the cross when I was separated from my loved ones. I still remember vividly, the day I heard the news of my mother’s demise and stood alone at her tomb and so too was my shock on hearing the death of my brother-in law, who took my father’s place in caring for me.
A justifiably famous book by Henri Nouwen is entitled “The Wounded Healer”. The message of that book as its title suggests is that if we are to be effective healers we must allow ourselves, within limits, to be continually wounded. It is only out of our woundedness that we can heal. Whenever I had to carry the cross I could do it more joyfully reflecting on Fr. Jordan’s beautiful song….
The cross is your life
The cross is your salvation
The cross is your crown
The cross is your glory
The cross is your hope
The cross is your shield
The cross is your protection
The cross is your portion
The cross is your joy
Hail o cross!
Hail O cross, our only hope.
For it belongs to me to glory in nothing but the cross of the Lord Jesus Christ!
The journey of hope continues
Strength in Weakness
We realize our worthlessness and weakness once we place our lives in the presence of God. After the miraculous catch of fish, Peter immediately fell at the feet of Jesus and said “Go away from me for I am a sinful man” (Lk 5:8). But the answer of Jesus was, “do not be afraid from now on you will be fisher of people”. It is only when we realize our weaknesses that we see the need of the grace of God and the need to be strengthened and this requires a lot of humility. St. Paul realized this great truth and came out with the most famous dictum, “When I am weak then I am strong”.
One of the most important phases in my life was when I had to make a very hard decision even against my will to say yes, when asked to lead the Indian mission as the Regional Superior. The question I asked God was the question St Francis of Assisi frequently asked, “What do you want me to do Lord?” As I sat in the chapel at Sarupya, Bangalore, alone with him in the Blessed Eucharist the scene that flashed my mind was the Annunciation of our Blessed Mother who said YES, even when she did not understand the impact of the YES fully. The words that resounded in my ears were that of Fr. Jordan’s “Throw yourself in the hands of the Lord, Trust him. He will protect you. He loves you”. Even after these assurances my fears never stopped, I kept asking, “Can I accomplish this task with my limitedness? Will my work bear the desired fruits for the development of the congregation at large and the Indian mission in particular? Why Lord me, for I am weak and fragile? I am not gifted I am broken? But the answer from the Scriptures for me always is, “My grace is sufficient for you”. I accepted the responsibility and am continuing my journey of hope. My friends the greatest truth that keeps me going is that in my weakness and brokenness, I experience the grace and strength of God. I realize that I am called not to do extraordinary things, but ordinary things in an extraordinary way, and I can accomplish it only with the help of God. The success Fr. Jordan and Mother Mary of the Apostle lies primarily in their trust and hope in God to help them in every walk of their lives.
Translation of the hope into life
The hope received can become a source of life when we like Jesus, Mother Mary, Fr. Jordan and Mary of the Apostles detach ourselves from the blessings and become a blessing unto others. Jesus came to this world exactly to do that even at the cost of his own life. He said I have come that you may have life and life in abundance. Life begets life.
Following the radical change that took place in his life Fr. Jordan dreamt of giving life to his hopes. Dream was part of his life. He dared to dream. He translated the dreams he nurtured into life. He dreamt of a Society, which will spread to the whole universe. He realized this great dream by preaching the love of Jesus and extending His salvation to all irrespective of caste, creed, color and language. He had a vision. Jordan believed in the power of God and its power in giving life to the dreams he had. Following are the three things I feel can conceive life.
1. Hope brings life
I loved my years as a formator. A God given chance for me to translate the hope and trust into life. As mentioned earlier just as I, as a young Salvatorian experienced the ray of hope that translated into life through the words of an old nun, I decided and said to myself that I should be a ray of hope and give life to the formees. They have received the call from God and it is God who moulds and shapes, guides and forms and all I need to do is journey with them giving them hope and life constantly and continuously assuring them that the God who called them will never forsake them nor abandon them. In this way I could feel that many could unload their burdens, feel comforted and walk light. It is in the formation house that I realized that giving hope brings new life.
Living a life in a community has its own advantages as well as disadvantages. Advantages nourish life while disadvantages hamper growth. In all the communities I lived, I tried to increase the advantages in my own little way by reducing frictions, misunderstandings, misgivings and relating as far as possible with love and kindness. This I found to enhance life.
2. Forgiveness begets life
The first recorded words of Jesus from the cross were, “Father forgive them for they do not know what they are doing” (Lk. 23:34). Forgiveness for whom? For Judas who betrayed him, for the disciples who abandoned him, for Simon Peter who denied him, for the soldiers who scourged, spat and crowned him with thorns, for Pilate who disowned him and finally for all who were responsible for his crucifixion. Why? Because they do not know what they are doing. From the Cross, the tree of life, Jesus the giver of life brought life and life in abundance through forgiveness. The entire mission of Jesus consisted in giving life to others and He primarily did this by bringing forgiveness. Before every healing he asked, “Do you have faith that I can cure you”? And then said “your sins are forgiven”.
Most of times we are not ready to forgive and forget. As a Salvatorian I realize that most of the problems in our communities can be easily solved if only we could forgive one another. This requires of lot of courage and strength. Only those who are attached to God, who have really experienced the gift of forgiveness from Him, can do it. If only we can do this it would be a mark of a Salvatorian. To start with we need to appreciate the goodness in others rather than amplifying their negative qualities. I always remember this saying, “every good has something bad in him or her and every bad has something good in him or her”. Second we need to stop judging others because we do not know their situation, their temperament, their reality, and family background. We need to ask ourselves, if I am in a similar situation will I be better than her? Third reflecting on our life and the many blessings we have received from God we cannot but love our sisters even when we are hurt and with Jesus say, “Forgive them for they do not know what they are doing” and be a source of life for others.
3. Sharing our very selves
The context of our times is etched by a despair commonly shared by haves (people desperate for more) and have nots (people desperate to survive). This deep crisis manifests itself economically, socially, culturally and politically. The new age of globalization brings extreme concentration of wealth and power with the few and immense deficiencies and deprivations on the many. In such a situation, giving hope to someone is noble and certainly divine. In the context of India I see the scope very much, where the gulf between the extremes of poverty and prosperity is too large. To bridge it in the near future may be an impossible task. But looking at this bleak situation we need not loose hope, just as a small mustard seed grows and becomes a big tree, just as a small quantity of yeast leavens the flour, so too we, in our own little ways, within our limitations and with our abilities in solidarity with God can be a spark of hope by imparting the knowledge of truth.
We Salvatorians in India are doing this by imparting education in almost all the places we have established our convents. As the saying goes “rather than giving a fish teach one to fish” I too believe that when we help people, our help should be concrete, a help that enables one to stand on his or her own legs. The best way to do this is by eradicating ignorance and bringing the light of knowledge. This I feel is the best way that we could offer hope and life to others.
But before we venture into the world, we need to set things right at home. Before we become witnesses of hope and life to others, we need to be sources of hope and life in the community where we live in. But we all know that things are easily said than done. Unless we submit ourselves daily and dedicate ourselves in humility to the will of God, like Fr. Jordan and Mother Mary of the Apostles we cannot be sources of life and hope. With the help of these two godly realities, let us strive to accomplish the mission of our congregation. Before I conclude I would like to sing just two lines of a song in Malayalam, my own language
Deivasneham varnicheedan vakkukal pora
Nanni cholli theerkkuvanee jeevitham pora.
The meaning of the song is “There are not enough words to explain the Love of God and a whole life time is not enough to say thanks to him ”. If some one asks me what I would like to be in the next birth, if there is one, I would say a 100 times I would like to be a Salvatorian.
Thanks for patiently giving me your ears. May the blessings of God remain with us.
Sr. Lilly Kurian SDS
Villoonni, India
13 November 2006
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